I am not there. I did not die.

Recently I have some disagreements with family members about the arrangement of my father’s ashes.

I would really like to have his ashes scattered in the sea according to his wishes but my family members want to place his ashes “properly”.  So they went ahead and found a “proper” place after a long search and consideration of feng shui.  It’s their expression of their respect.

With that still in my mind and wondering if I should have insisted my way, I went to bed last night.  And for the first time since my father’s death, he spoke to me in my dream (I have seen him before but there was no “communication”) and in the dream I heard his voice say “I am here”.  I looked to the direction of where the sound came from and I saw him.  I hugged him.  We enjoyed each other’s company.  It was peaceful.  It was a vivid dream.

When I woke up in the morning I wondered if he was trying to tell me something, with “I am here” lingering in my head…

Then I checked my email and as I was about to delete a forwarded email (as I get so many of these well-intentioned forwards everyday and have no time to read them), I decided to open it and click open the powerpoint attachment.

In very large characters it opened:

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there; I did not die.

The powerpoint unfolded to a full poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

And this is the Japanese song version that accompanies the presentation.  It’s a beautiful song.  The lyrics is supposed to be a translation of the poem.

The powerpoint moves on to the story of 2008 Olympic Gold Medalist Mathias Steiner who dedicated his gold medal to his wife who died shortly before he made it to the Olympics and won his first Olympic Gold Medal.

Found a Youtube video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWVyhHfotQ4&feature=fvsr#

Dad I heard you!  I know you are here all along…Now I cannot say I am not sure anymore…

Separation is an illusion… We are bigger than we ever can imagine we are.  And we are all connected.  What a reminder…

Such magical moment is worth at least as much as an Olympic Gold…isn’t it?

Well at least it is for me….


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